Return To Article Index

When was the last time you acknowledged yourself for something you accomplished? When we only keep our nose to the grindstone and keep setting our goals higher and higher we rob ourselves of the sweet gratification of our achievements, big and small. Having the sense that we have arrived somewhere special along the way is a major key to re-energizing your drive toward your long-term goals, especially those that seem far-reaching.

The fact is we never actually arrive at any ultimate destination in our lives. Life is a work in progress, like a commissioned artwork that’s never quite done. Business and commerce march on relentlessly. 2005 will flow right into 2006 the same way yesterday suddenly became today. That’s why it is so important that you allow yourself the opportunity to stop and appreciate how far you’ve come. It’s the season for celebrating and gift-giving. This holiday give yourself the gift of self-acknowledgment. Save some of that generous spirit for yourself and do something unique that lets you know you are proud of you. Take the opportunity to celebrate all your wins that are moving you steadily forward even now toward your dreamed of destiny.

A study was once done on members of an army in which three groups in relatively the same physical condition were to run the exact same ten-mile course. The first group was told they would be running ten miles. Along the way, they had one-mile markers. The second group was never told how far they would have to run. They had no markers. The last group was told they only had to run five miles. When they hit their five-mile mark, they were told they had five more to go. That seems almost cruel! They weren’t being asked for anything more physically rigorous than the other groups, yet their expectations were completely different.

It’s not difficult to imagine which group performed the best. The entire first group crossed the finish-line, some with energy to spare. Several people from the second group did not make it. Having no idea what would be required of them or how to pace themselves, they were unprepared for the long haul. The third group did fine until they reached what they thought was the end, only to be told they still had a long way to go. Several of them dropped out.

How crucial our mindset is in achieving our goals! From an NLP perspective, it makes complete sense. When we know what our desired outcomes are for the future and recognize how far we’ve come along the way in reaching those goals, we are able to go the distance. The journey also becomes more effortless because we know where we’re headed; therefore do whatever it takes to get there. I once heard someone say that having no expectations is an expectation of “no.”

Setting markers along your path lets you know that you are well on your way to accomplishing what you set out to do, one step at a time. A one year marker is coming up. It’s time to look back at how far you’ve come. I bet if you take a moment right now to look back over this past year, you will realize you have already accomplished so much! Building on your successes builds confidence and self-esteem. Strong self-esteem, in turn, is the basis for more success.

Looking back, however, does not mean dwelling on past perceived “mistakes” or things you feel you should’ve done “if only…” Time spent berating yourself or others for “mistakes” is time wasted. The instinct may be a positive one, to find ways to improve yourself or certain systems, but it can have the opposite effect. If you stay in blame mode for any great length of time, you’re actually putting yourself into the “effect” position, rather than being at the “cause” side of the equation. This lets the air out of all that confidence, which disempowers you from getting results.

There is a very good way to gauge whether you are moving away from your own power or toward it. When you find yourself focusing on details that didn’t work out as you planned or had hoped, notice what that does to your emotional and mental energy. Does it get you more excited or more stressed? If it puts you into a resourceful state where you are compelled to do things differently next time, then great--get all the positive learnings from that particular circumstance and move on. If instead you notice that thinking about those things you wished didn’t happen increases your stress and lessens your drive, it’s time to re-place your focus on the bigger picture. Re-experience your ultimate destination, see, hear and feel how it’s going to be having that.

When you float far enough up over your Timeline and look back over all the year’s events that needed to occur for you to be where you are right now, you will marvel at all you have done! You will probably find that what you thought went “wrong” actually made other things possible or gave you new skills which somehow then played into your overall progress. There is no such thing as failure, only feedback. Isn’t it all learning to be successful? Everyone who has ever been massively successful has had more “failures” than wins, but they will all tell you that it was those “failures” that enabled them to have the success. Successful people are doers. They go out there no matter what the risks.

Move on as quickly as possible without any negative emotional or mental residue from any perceived “losses” cluttering and clouding the mind. In NLP, we recognize that a person is only capable of keeping in mind seven (plus or minus two) chunks of information at a time. These 5-9 things are all we can focus our attention on. Ask yourself, do I really want to use up half my mental energy on this past event that I can’t do anything about now anyway? You will find yourself getting much more selective with those seven plus or minus two chunks. Your mind’s focus is a precious commodity. Stay mindful of what you are spending it on.

Athletes are masters of controlling their focus. They train themselves to be as present as possible in each moment so that they are ready to make the best of those moment-to-moment opportunities. A soccer player running down the field towards the goal post knows what he wants and the most direct route to it. If he dwells for even a second on the last goal he missed, he might not see that split-second opening between the two players in front of him. He not only has put a picture in his mind of what he doesn’t want, he’s missed a valuable opportunity in the present by staying in the past. We need this same ability in our business, financial and personal affairs. All of our power to create what we want is always in the present.

Besides being a great time to take stock in yourself, it’s also the time of year to savor sweet, delicious treats. Indulge yourself now—close your eyes and float up over your Timeline, over this entire last year. You want to savor all those many accomplishments, at work, at home, in relationships, all those things that just came together for you. You may not have been able to appreciate those successes at the time they were occurring. Often we don’t recognize those pivotal moments when we’ve met someone who will play a major role in the fulfillment of our mission, or when we make that spontaneous decision that turns out to be a crucial one down the road. We don’t sit back and enjoy the big picture when we’re in the middle of our own movie. So I want you to do that now. Take all the time you need. Imagine you can see all the people coming in and out of your days, helping you along the way. Anyone who has achieved big things in their life has had the help of others. Appreciate those people now, whether you like them or not, see how all the ups and downs, lights and darks contributes to the overall beauty of how your intentions have been working for you all along.

When you have taken enough time to do that for the whole year, take more time. Dwell on your accomplishments as long as it feels good and bathe in the gratitude for every part of it. When you get to the new year, it will be time to set your markers for next year. But not yet. Right now you are building on your successes, saturating yourself with the confidence that will sustain you throughout any challenges to come.

There is a difference between a state and a goal. A goal takes a series of steps with an end result. An emotional state like happiness you can have anytime you choose, like right now. You never have to wait to be completely and utterly content. You can create that in an instant. Ask yourself, what state would you like to give yourself now and into the coming year? Because what you generate in this moment manifests more of itself in the future. Is it being totally satisfied? Highly motivated? Extremely confident? Absolutely ecstatic? Or all of the above? Can you recall a time you’ve felt that before? Go ahead and experience it again now. Then turn up the intensity of that positive feeling and just enjoy it.

And here’s a good challenge if you’re up for it—I want you to sit with a friend and spend at least fifteen minutes telling them about all the things you are proud of in your life, all the things that make you such a success, what your biggest dreams and desires are for your future and why you are the best person for the job. You need to do this because anything less than celebrating your past and fully living in the present isn’t creating a brilliant future, isn’t it?

About the Author
Christopher Howard is an internationally acclaimed expert in Neuro Linguistic Programming and the founder of Creation Technologies™. As C.E.O. of The Christopher Howard Companies, he is a leading resource for individuals and organisations that want to accelerate their performance and create breakthrough results.

Chris’ clients include politicians, Fortune 500 companies, recognised celebrities, and individuals from all walks of life who are committed to living the lives they deserve to live.

Christopher Howard is presenting a series of trainings in Australia through Universal Events.

Top