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The Psychology Of Money,Prosperity And Abundance
By Kristine Hallbom and Armand D'Alo
What stops people from succeeding financially and
having abundance in their life? The answer is generally
focused around the belief that financial success is
not a possibility. Many people create various barriers
that keep them from having abundance.
If you have limiting beliefs about money at an unconscious
level, it will be difficult to move though financial
limitations because your unconscious mind will hamper
your efforts to succeed. This is why some people end
up living from paycheck to paycheck their whole life÷at
some level they don't believe that they're capable of
doing better.
Even though there is a positive intention behind their
financial barriers, many people don't recognize what
those intentions are. Then there are those who know
at some level what the positive intention is, yet they
still don't know how to get through obstacles.
At a conscious level, most people think they're doing
everything possible to achieve their goals. However,
there still might be some unconscious part of them that
doesn't believe they can obtain success. The more a
person avoids that unconscious part, the more obstacles
will continue to show up in their every day life. That's
the way the mind works.
For example, think of the people you know who read
all of the think and grow rich books, attend financial
seminars, say daily affirmations, and still have money
problems. All of these things that they're doing are
worthwhile, yet they often don't get to the "core"
of their issue which usually involves some type of limiting
belief.
People have many different beliefs about money. Some
of the more common ones are:
- You need money to make money.
- I don't have enough money to plan with.
- It's too late in my life, I don't know what to do.
- If I invest, the market will go down for sure.
- Finances are too complicated.
These are all cause/effect beliefs, which really have
little to do with achieving abundance. These type of
beliefs limit people because they're looking for the
answers outside of themselves, when in reality, the
keys to prosperity exist within themselves.
Abundance is not what a person has. It is a state of
mind. Many people who succeed in life from a financial
perspective often have positive beliefs about prosperity
and abundance. When people understand and move from
the realm of cause and effect to the idea of "What
is possible?" in their world, they move to a whole
different level of thinking, one which is more rewarding
in the long run because they're expanding their mental
frames around money.
Instead of focusing on what is possible, many people
spend a lot of time thinking about what they don't have.
An interesting pattern develops in which they become
angry or resentful over their situation, which creates
more limitations and barriers in their lives. It's so
much easier to get ahead in life when you're coming
from a peaceful state of mind, versus an angry or resentful
frame of mind. The first step in helping a person is
to explore the nature of their issue.
For example, the person may have had parents who lived
in poverty and subsequently formed a "Depression
era" mentality. Hence, they developed an unconscious
belief that he/she will always have to struggle financially
because that's what their parents did. Or they might
have had a parent tell them over and over again that
they'll never make it and eventually they began to believe
it.
It's very common for children to unconsciously form
limiting beliefs around money at an early age. These
types of limiting beliefs are referred to as "imprints"
in NLP. An imprint is basically a memory that is formed
at an early age, and can serve as a root for both the
limiting and empowering beliefs that we may form as
children.
Some of the beliefs that we may develop at early ages
are not always healthy, and are created as a result
of a traumatic or confusing experience that we have
forgotten. How we unconsciously and consciously view
the world in terms of money is generally based on such
beliefs. (1)
Identifying your limiting beliefs is a critical first
step. Once you've identified what some of those underlying
imprints/beliefs are, you can use different NLP techniques
to move through those obstacles, thus allowing you to
see and experience all of the financial opportunities
that are really available to you.
Beliefs About Possibility
The primary psychological difference between those who
do well financially and those who don't revolves around
beliefs about possibility. For example, many people
don't even view financial success as an option. They
don't have the capability to open themselves up to all
of the possibilities that are available for achieving
abundance.
Often they'll get stuck in a monthly routine and are
unwilling to take risks or try something different because
they're afraid that they'll end up being worse off than
they already are. What these people don't realize is
that it's common to have to take a step backward in
order to move forward.
Many millionaires have gone bankrupt at some time in
their life and then in a short time will completely
turn their financial situation around for the better.
Moreover, many people who start up their own businesses
often lose money in the beginning. However, they do
this, trusting that their new business will expand to
a point where they're earning a nice salary while collecting
a tidy profit.
Not everyone has to take risks or step backwards to
get ahead, though it's important to consciously open
yourself up to the idea of what is possible for you.
In order to embrace this idea, you must first have the
ability to change your daily routine by doing something
different. This includes learning how to view your world
through the eyes of prosperity and abundance, instead
of lack and poverty.
Try this on for a moment:
Think about something that you want and all of the possibilities
that you have in achieving it. Ask yourself, "What
is possible?"
Now try something different.
Think of something that you don't have, but that you'd
like to have. Think about why you don't have it and
how you wish you could have it.
Notice which one of those makes you feel better.
Hopefully, the first statement made you feel better
because it was designed to expand your unconscious and
conscious frames around prosperity and abundance. It's
amazing what can happen to a person once they change
their attitude and beliefs about possibility. Once people
will begin to start seeing results almost instantaneously.
The shifts may be small at first, but as they continue
to embrace their new way of thinking, a lot of magic
opens up for them.
For example, many years ago a number of Vietnamese
"boat people" immigrated into the United States.
Many Americans were concerned about the strain that
would be created on welfare and other government services
as a result of these people coming into the country.
Interestingly, many of the Vietnamese who went into
business for themselves ended up doing extremely well.
Why is that?
An obvious answer might have to do with the Vietnamese
people came from a country where if they said the wrong
thing, they would get shot. Then they came to the United
States where the worst thing that could happen was that
someone would call them on the phone and harass them
because they didn't pay a bill.
If you come from a world where death is a moment to
moment reality to a place where options are endless,
then there is no reason not to try everything. Instead
of being angry or bitter about having to leave their
country, they were grateful to be alive. Instead of
sulking in self-pity, many of them adopted a creative
attitude that revolved around the question, "What
is possible?"
Consequently, when they moved here, two or three Vietnamese
families would live in a confined space. They went out
and got minimum wage jobs and pooled all of their money
together. When they got enough money, they would by
a business and the whole family would start working
at the business. Once the business became fairly successful,
they would buy a piece of real estate. Then they would
buy more real estate, and so on.
For these Vietnamese, success was an affirmation of
what is possible, because everything was possible to
them. They were willing to suffer for awhile to reach
their long-term goal of abundance and prosperity. It
was simply a matter of their levels of priorities and
how they categorized the different possibilities. People
can do anything they want. The question is: what are
they willing to do to get to their possible outcome?
Patience is a Virtue
It's fairly standard for most people in Germany to save
their money before making a big purchase and to pay
in full at the time of the purchase. In Germany, the
only debt that most people have is their mortgage and
what they owe on their car. In other countries, it's
common for people to abuse their charge cards, and to
be deeply in debt beyond the traditional house and car
payment. Many Germans take joy in saving up for something
special, because they look forward to the reward of
getting what they want. As soon as they have that reward,
they immediately begin to save again for their next
big item or travel adventure. It's interesting that
Germans have the ability to delay the instant gratification
that a charge card can bring. They look forward with
anticipation and excitement towards the day that they
can have what they want. They don't regret for one minute
that they have to set aside money to meet their next
goal. Instead they focus on how thankful they are for
what they have, and patiently look forward to getting
what they want.
The ability to delay gratification is a masterful skill,
a triumph of the reasoning brain over the impulsive
one, according to Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., who wrote the
book, Emotional Intelligence (Bantam Books; 1995). The
author concludes that people, who are able to exercise
patience by delaying gratification, are more likely
to succeed in life.
Goleman documents a study that took place in the 1960's
in which a researcher invites children into a plain
room one by one and gives each young child a marshmallow.
"You can have this marshmallow right now,"
he says, "but if you wait while I step out for
a moment, you can have two marshmallows when I get back."
And then he leaves.
Apparently, some of the children grabbed for the marshmallow
right way and some waited a few minutes before they
finally caved into their temptation. But others were
determined to wait. They covered their eyes, sang to
themselves, put their heads down, played games or even
fell asleep. They did whatever it took to hold out.
When the researcher returned, he gave them their hard-earned
second marshmallow.
A survey of the children's parents and teachers found
that those who, as four-year olds, had the ability to
hold out for the second marshmallow generally grew up
to be better adjusted, more popular, adventurous, confident
and dependable teenagers. (2)
According to Goleman, the evidence is conclusive that
patience seems to play a major role in the success of
many people. The ability to resist your impulses can
be developed through practice.
When you're faced with an immediate temptation such
as spending money on something that you don't really
need, remind yourself of your long-term financial goals.
Reframe your current financial situation by realizing
that you're really saving for an abundant future. (3)
If people are willing to suffer a little by spending
less so that they can later invest their savings, then
they are well on their way to achieving prosperity.
Abundance is a State of Mind
Often people will confuse who they are with how much
money they make. Whether someone makes a million dollars
a year or $15,000 a year, everyone still has the capability
to achieve a certain degree of abundance in their life.
For example, when the Nazi's took over in Germany,
there were very many wealthy people in the society who
had their lives ripped away from them and they ended
up in concentration camps. Viktor E. Frankle or Anne
Frank were in situations of the worst poverty, yet they
actually had an abundant life.
In Man's Search for Meaning, author Viktor E. Frankle
said that the one thing that a person has that can never
be taken away from them is their attitude.
"We who lived in the concentration camps can remember
the men who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread. They may have
been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof
that everything can be taken from a man, but one thing:
The last of his freedoms÷To choose one's attitude in
any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own
way."
Frankle, a psychologist, adopted a creative attitude
that helped him survive the nightmare of living in a
concentration camp. He was able to manifest internal
abundance by exercising his right to do so. This same
attitude led him on a path towards achieving and living
a prosperous life once he got out.
Prosperity, Abundance and Self Worth
When it comes to thinking about prosperity, it's helpful
to understand that it's a resource that flows through
us. We are a conduit for abundance. Once this is realized,
then we start to identify the fact that we're the ones
that choose how to channel this resource. Viktor Frankle
made this distinction in the concentration camps. Every
single one of his material possessions were stripped
away from him, including his shoes. The only thing he
had left, was the ability to believe in himself and
to embrace the idea that he was still a good person,
despite the fact that everything had been taken away
from him.
This is an important distinction to make, because then
having money is no longer a question of self-worth.
Money doesn't determine who you are; it's simply a resource.
Having a strong inner sense of self is what is truly
important. Money is merely an external element. Once
people stop equating their self-worth with money, then
the doors of possibility swing open for them because
they're willing to try more things. Since they feel
better about themselves, they become less fearful and
are open to trying something completely different.
It's a matter of saying to yourself, "Here is
the outcome I want and there are several ways of achieving
it. Several possibilities. If something doesn't work,
then I'll try something else."
And if the next thing doesn't work out, then it's simply
feedback that you need to try something else. It doesn't
mean that you're a failure or a terrible person. It
simply means that there is something out there that
will eventually work and that something is outside of
you. You're still the same person on the inside.
Measuring one's self-worth by how much money one has
can be devastating. For example, here was a woman who
had 17 million dollars set aside for her in a trust
fund by her parents. It would pay out at least $800,000
a year in interest as long as she was breathing. This
person found her identity and self worth in the lifestyle
that she lived and how much she owned. During one shopping
spree, she spent $18,000 in the lingerie section of
her local department store.
Most of the actions that she took when it came to spending
large sums of money were the result of comparing herself
to her sister. The sister was in the same situation;
she also had a trust fund that paid out a lot in interest.
However, the sister never looked at money as an aspect
of her identity. She never determined her self-worth
by how much she had.
All it meant to her was that she had something to fall
back on if there was ever a problem. She married and
started several businesses with her husband. They became
extremely successful in their own right and it turned
out that after many years, the income from her trust
was relatively small compared to the income generated
from the businesses they had developed.
Interestingly, the woman who based her identity and
self-worth on her pocketbook spent large sums of money
to keep up with her sister. She eventually went bankrupt.
This is an extreme example of someone who measures their
self worth on how much money they have.
The woman's situation became even more complicated
when she started comparing herself with her sister,
which is also a statement about her self-worth. It's
common for a person to compare their financial status
with someone else and, sadly, this is the root of much
of the emotional pain that people carry. People have
a tendency to compare themselves with their friends,
co-workers, family members and so on.
When people compare themselves with someone, what they're
actually doing is making a judgment about themselves
and the other person. At some level they're basing their
identity and self worth on external elements.
When someone decides to compare and judge less often,
they'll begin to notice amazing shifts in their life
because they'll be viewing life from the inside looking
out. They'll be internally referenced, which will enhance
their self worth and identity because they'll be determining
who they are from their own heart. They'll no longer
give other people the opportunity to determine who they
are, because they'll already know themselves at a very
deep and spiritual level.
When a person compares themselves with another, there
is a positive intention behind their behavior, even
though the behavior may appear to be less than resourceful.
As they start to understand those positive intentions÷and
often they revolve around self-worth and identity÷they'll
begin to heal the unconscious wound that is holding
them back from achieving prosperity and abundance. Again,
this is where limiting beliefs and imprints come into
play.
A person's identity is not something that magically
happens all of a sudden. It's something that a person
builds over time. They have an experience and they interpret
this experience in their brain. They take that interpretation,
give it some level of criteria and store it away. And
at some level they say, "I am based on this experience.
They have other experiences, stacking one on top of
another. Many people tend to sort for the negatives
and delete the positives. Over time people begin purposely
stacking one direction and deleting everything else.
We are creatures of deletion. The positive intention
behind sorting for the negative is to protect the person
from ever having another negative experience.
Eventually, people forget to also sort for the positive.
They need to learn to take in all of their positive
experiences to maintain that balance. When a person
brings in all the positive elements of an experience
and moves the negative parts outside themselves, they
begin to realize that the negative information isn't
really about them. This makes it easier to hang on to
all of the positive aspects of the situation, and integrate
them while releasing the negative.
Releasing the negative aspects of a situation, while
integrating the positives will change a person's financial
situation over time in a dramatic way because they'll
begin to develop a deeper sense of self-worth. Instead
of basing their worth on external elements like a paycheck,
they develop a strong inner sense of self-worth which
gives them the courage to try new things÷thus expanding
their opportunities.
For example, there was a janitor who made only about
$1,800 a month. After doing some beliefs work with NLP
and financial planning, he decided to start his own
business. He began by saving money and then he bought
all the supplies that he needed. He took a new cleaning
contract on the side and hired somebody to staff the
contract. He then got another contract and hired somebody
else to help him out. After a period of time he decided
to quit his janitor job and started his own cleaning
company. He eventually realized a tremendous increase
in his monthly salary and had a sense of freedom that
he had never experienced before.
He was still ding janitorial work. What changed was
his self-worth. Instead of thinking, "Oh, I'm just
a janitor, I can't do anything else; I'm not smart enough,"
he began thinking, "What is possible?" Everybody
needs someone to come in and clean. Homes need it, schools
need it. They're hiring me to do it, why don't I just
get on the other side of the fence and start up my own
business.
That's how you open up possibilities. It starts with
a dream. Then it's a matter of turning that dream blueprint
into reality. As a person begins to embrace their own
self worth and open themselves up to the idea of what
is possible, they'll attract abundance and prosperity
into their life. The outer world is a reflection of
our inner world. If someone is feeling good on the inside,
generally it will show on the outside and they'll draw
positive experiences into their life. That's the way
life works.
References
- Hallbom, T. and K. Johnson, Alternative Medicine:
The Definitive Guide, (Beverly Hills, CA: The Holistic
Book Project, 1993) Neuro-Linguistic Programming, p.
382.
- Nancy Gibbs, Time Magazine, (Time, Inc., Principal
Office, Oct. 2, 1995) Vol. 146: No. 14. The EQ Factor,
pp. 60-69. Information in the article is based on the
book written by Harvard psychologist Daniel Goleman,
Ph.D., Emotional Intelligence (Bantam, 1995).
- Daniel Goleman, Reader's Digest, (The Readers Digest
Association, Jan. 1995). What is your Emotional IQ?
Pp. 49-52. Condensed from Emotional Intelligence by
Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.
Kristine Hallbom is a free lance journalist and has been
writing professionally for 16 years. She is the co-director
of the NLP Institute of California and has a degree in
Psychology and Languages. She is also an NLP Master Practitioner..
Armond D'Alo is the founder of Oaktree Advisory Services,
Inc., a financial consulting firm in the Los Angeles area.
He is also an NLP Master Practitioner that has been doing
financial planning and consulting since 1979.
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